Jasper told me the other day -- and I paraphrase, for no reason other than the fact that I cannot remember what he actually said -- that he's not really in love with the baby's red skinny jeans. But you've never even seen them on him, I countered. But yes, he had, he claimed, in Monterey. (But no, he hadn't.) And then it became clear that Jasper did not know the difference between the baby's red skinny jeans and the baby's faded-red chinos. And then I died a little due to the knowing of these things:
- My husband cannot tell the difference between two entirely different pairs of pants, simply because they are in the same color family
- My baby owns both these two pairs of red-color-family pants
- I would have to tell you about it, because otherwise what am I even doing here?
So then I ignored the fact that Jasper couldn't tell the red skinnies from the washed-red chinos, because that was really too big of a chore in that particular moment, because what I was really trying to do was get a holiday card underway and these things have deadlines, you know?
Since I was asking, he told me: he does not like the red skinnies because they make the baby look like a hipster. (Which they totally do.) I find dressing the baby like a hipster to be amusing, because he is a baby and there is nothing hip about a baby and also we are the opposite of hipsters, whatever that is. I mean, I still sometimes wear bootcut jeans for gosh sakes. We don't even have Instagram. We don't even know whether Instagram is something that you have or something that you do.
None of the pictures came out cute enough for a card anyway, but they are cute enough to share with you, my four readers. Enjoy.