Friday, October 7, 2011

In my dreams, I am a terrible mother

Not in my aspirational dreams, of course. But in my dreamy nighttime dreams. Over the past seven months, I’ve had just a few dreams where Baby H is already born. And in almost all of these dreams, I am a really terrible mother. Behold:

Exhibit A: In this dream I am riding in a big van, and Baby H is there. But not only is he not in a car seat, he’s just rolling around the floor. So, when the van stops, he tumbles along the floor under the seats to the front, and when we start up again, he slides to the back. This is so not an approved method of baby transportation. Also, when I notice him, I only know logically that he must be my baby. Like... oh! a baby! I must have had the baby!

Exhibit B:  This time, we are at home, and Baby H is crawling around. And then I realize I don’t really know where he is, because I haven’t been watching him, like, at all. And I realize the back door is open, so I wander out onto the patio to see if he’s in the back yard. It’s basically like he’s a third dog in this dream.

Exhibit C:  I give birth and I’m all breastfeeding like a champ. Baby H is super good at it, and we are this rockstar breastfeeding team. Then the day after I have him, I feed him in the morning and then just GO TO WORK. I mean, I left him with someone... that wasn’t the thing. But when I’m at work and it’s late afternoon, I realize he’s probably hungry, because you totally have to feed babies more often than that! And of course I didn’t have time to pump, because I just had him yesterday.

Now, I’m pretty sure parenting will be hard, but I really don’t think I’ll forget to feed him. What is my sleepy brain thinking with all this nonsense?

Unrelated: I also had a dream in which, roughly two hours after being born, Baby H was speaking in full, very complex sentences. And he came pre-potty-trained. Even in my dream, I was confused. Like, I thought we were having a *baby*?

And also, I know that hearing about people's dreams is the worst. You didn't have to read it.


  1. I love dreams. They are often so very very strange. I used to keep a dream journal and I wish I could do it again but got so very tired of groggily scribbling stuff in it at 6 in the morning. But they are sooo interesting. Disturbing, strange, odd, weird, but definitely fun. But this post is good. I feel better knowing that my brain is not the only one that tends to create logically illogical situations. Just don't tell me this stuff started only after you got pregnant, cuz that would make me abnormal again.

  2. Oh, I've always had crazy dreams. But they have only involved a baby since I got pregnant. And pregnancy does seem to make them crazier... or at least the crazy ones are more frequent? Do you ever have the dream where you find a completely new room in your own house? That one fascinates me.

  3. Very Alice in Wonderland. Now I want to find a new room. I think that will be my goal tonight.