40 Weeks

Today is Baby H’s due date. As it turns out, that does not mean that he spontaneously emerges at the stroke of midnight. (I know, SO disappointed.)

In seasonally appropriate fashion, he is the size of a pumpkin! What a cutie:

And this is what it looks like to have a fully grown baby in your belly:

In the last two days I have been told twice that I look too normal and energetic to have a baby this weekend. Those people? They are sweet to say so, but also they can suck it, because I am so abnormal enough to have a baby this weekend. Another lady shouted down the sidewalk at me that “Ohmigod, you have such a gigantic baby in there!” Yeah... shouted... at a stranger... about her huge belly. I refused to acknowledge said lady’s existence, even though she clearly thought that her comment had been a brilliant conversation-starter.

I spend a sort of surprising amount of time these days wondering if I am going into labor. And one would think it would be so obvious. But once it became apparent that I am an oblivious dope when it comes to contractions, well, I started researching the matter. (Obvious and oblivious... just two letters different... did everyone else already know this?) Anyway, well, some women totally don’t realize they are in labor until it’s time to push. It really happens. So I keep telling Jasper he’d better read the page in our childbirth book about delivering the baby himself. I’m mostly joking, and he pointed out that since it’s just one page, he can read it when the time comes. Which is true. He’s a super fast reader! And also, yes, one page. TO DELIVER A BABY. So, apparently medical school? Pretty much overkill. Doctors. Such suckers.

Yesterday it was clear that I was not in labor, so we took a small adventure to the Home Depot and Alameda. Home Depot is a frequent adventure for us and, surprisingly, I am a pretty big fan. My favorite time to go is early in the morning on a weekend. I like to speculate on what people are up to. It’s always a healthy mix of contractors and semi-clueless homeowner guys. People with big projects, people with a suddenly leaky sink, people with gardening ambitions... all way more lively than anyplace else at that hour. For some reason I get a real kick out of it. Also, my baby’s daddy is really cute when he’s, like, picking out a hammer.

After Home Depot (where we got something for the inside of the toilet... a flapper, I believe), we headed to Alameda to check out the toy stores. But first we happened upon a terrific Mexican restaurant -- the kind with huge platters of food with lots of toppings and margaritas the size of small fishbowls. We love this type of Mexican restaurant and they are so rare in the Bay Area. We love a good taqueria too, but sometimes you want to sit among the faux frescoes and have a giant tequila beverage with your complimentary chips and salsa. And you might want to do this someplace that is not Chevy’s. In such a case, you should head to La Penca Azul. My baby’s daddy does not always appreciate my adventures, but he appreciated this:

By the way, that drink in the background was a housemade blackberry limeade for the gigantically pregnant and it was delicious and made me want to return for a blackberry mojito. Jasper went big and tried something called a Michelada. This was new to us, and was a beer-based Bloody-Mary sort of thing. Perhaps the most surprising thing about this is that it came in lots of different flavors. Like, even peach. Jasper’s was the original and while he liked it alright, it’s not his new favorite. But La Penca Azul! Totally our new favorite!

After stuffing ourselves, and getting Baby H kicking like crazy with jalapeños, we headed to the toy store. There we finally found our baby’s first stuffy, which we’ll give him for Christmas. It’s a blue monkey, and possibly the softest blue monkey in all the land. I would post his picture, but we washed him when we brought him home and his fur is still a little damp. So, he’ll have to make an appearance at a later date.

Today, while wondering whether I am in labor (I’m telling you... not as clear as you’d think!), my baby’s daddy took me out for a giant jalapeño-laced cheeseburger at our local spot. Thus I would be well-fueled in case of labor. We walked over from our house, which isn’t a very long walk, but left me feeling like my baby might fall out. Which would be really impressive. Me and my burger:

Number of contractions this week: seriously, so many. and those are just the ones I know about!
Number of days until Baby H will be evicted, if I don’t get him out on my own: 10

Number of Christmas presents we have bought for Baby H: 3
Number of Christmas shipments we have been warned to expect from Granny J and Gumpa: 2
What Gumpa wanted to get Baby H, before Granny J reminded him that Baby H will still be a baby in a month: a toddler motorcycle

Things that are difficult when you are 40-weeks pregnant: painting your toenails, making Thanksgiving plans, rolling over